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Grown Enough

Dating: Act of Innocence or Articulate Prerequisite

by Jedidah Taylor, Managing Editor

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Have you ever had a song you couldn’t get out of your head? Similarly, all my senses align with my mother’s voice, over and over again: “I don’t care what you do you’re grown; you’re too old for me to be telling you things.”

Even with her words of validation I never seem “grown” enough not to get yelled at for wearing what I want, saying what I want, going where I want — when I want. Shoot, there’s still a slight possibility I’ll be lectured for going in the fridge before dinner time; even though, I cook the dinner. What exactly am I grown enough for?

Convenience. At their convenience I become old enough to handle chores, pay bills, run errands, stay out late; at their inconvenience I’ll no longer be old enough to use that money on expenses of my choice or access that very car used to run errands to go out on my whim. My status is determined by the convenience and boundaries set by not only my parents or those ranking in age, but the society I’m set in.

Of Course, rules and regulations are put into place for a reason, but when does childish become childlike?  When does “grown” turn into “grown enough”? How far from being grown-enough is being a “grown-up”?

With that in mind, a new topic comes to play, Activist Seodi White finds herself battling to bring a halt to child-marriage in Malawi. Initially, traveling to a village to ask women about marriage inheritance; to her surprise the “women” she found were of ages 13-18. The U.N. Population Fund currently rates Malawi eighth of 20 countries considered to have the highest rates of child marriage. Spurring into action by the disheartening news, White did her research, coming to find out the Constitution of the Republic Malawi legally allows marriage to those under the age of 16, contradicting the United Nations law of 18 and over.

When all hope was thought loss, Malawi passed the Marriage, Divorce, and Family Relations Bill in February 2015. Yet, without the proper application, the law still remained unsatisfactory. Her issue remains that the effect of girls marrying at such a young age results in lack of education, identity, and wealth.

Personally, I don’t see a problem with young marriage, the problem lies with settling and not knowing what to aim for in a spouse. In America it’s socially acceptable for girls to start dating as young as 14, but all is damned if marriage at that age is mentioned. Agreed, American 14 year-olds or nowhere mature enough for marriage, so why is dating acceptable? Dating is the prerequisite to marriage; as a young women you shouldn’t “date to date” — handing out emotional and physical pieces of  yourself among faces of the shadows. A modern argument stands that these dating trials make you stronger; however, if you’re truly mature enough for dating then you’re strong enough for commitment, and if you’re strong enough for commitment then you’re strong enough for marriage. Look for a spouse who will be able to provide, protect, and prosper with you; let the strength come from trials with one another, not from holes you had to sew back yourself.

I wish for you to sit back and ask yourself:

What does it truly mean to date?

What is commitment?

Why are variables of such a sacred,sensitive subject so contradictory across the world?

And lastly, when is grown “grown enough” ?

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The student news site of McEachern High School in Powder Springs, Georgia
Grown Enough